Headlines - Intro

This section just showcases my collection of humorous headlines, usually taken from CNN.com, but also from other articles from various publications that people send me.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters)

When his mother found out what porn star Ron Miller does for a living, she was heartbroken. She never wanted him to be a criminal defense lawyer.

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (AP)

A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer.

MOSCOW (Reuters)

A Russian astrologer is suing NASA for crashing a probe into a comet, claiming it has distorted her horoscope.

FORT SUMNER, N.M. (AP)

A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

LONDON (Reuters)

A seven-tonne whale has made its way up the Thames to central London, where it is being watched by riverside crowds.

VENTURA, California (AP)

A teacher who kept a 40 mm shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the object to try to squash a bug, authorities say.

SAKHALIN, Russia (Reuters)

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP)

Two car crashes occurred and four people were arrested in excitement over a gasoline giveaway Wednesday to reward the city for its safe-driving record.